At that moment, it was the best day of his life. He has lived for that day always. It was unimaginable that the smile will leave his face that day. He was thinking along all day how to surprise his mother about that feat he had achieved while every other classmate was congratulating him. He had been trying to achieve it for last 8 years and he was there. As he knocked the door, his mother was standing there to ruin all his plans to surprise her. That smile which had been there all day, vanished in an instant. He was standing there all distressed as he was congratulated by his mother. For the first time in his academic career, he was First in his class and his mother had asked the school receptionist before waiting for him to tell her himself.
Since that morning of 19th August 1990 and the day he gained his senses, he has been disappointed by his parents in the same way. His parents was over possessive of him, never let him enjoy with the elder cousins and expected him to top in everything in school. He was made in to a very soft person. Pinch him and he had started crying. He was beaten by his mother for bad result in tests. 9.5 marks out of 10, and he was greeted by a slap. He was only allowed to put the step out of home an hour before Maghrib and if he had got 8 out 10 in a test, he was banned to go out that day. The day he had received his exam timetable, he was banned to go out until the day exams have been finished. He had achieved 90%+ marks throughout the term and yet he was cursed for not being first. He was only allowed to play on his Sega after he had solved the question paper in front of his mom after coming from exam without even a single mistake, and that too for half an hour, which was very closely monitored.
As he was the eldest in his house, he always wanted some company. Sadly for him, his two brothers died just after they were born. He was not even able to have a single glimpse of them. All he was told that they were kept in a particular tube, shown by his grandmother when she somehow managed to take him to the nursery. A couple of months after he had lost his second brother, his grandfather left him too. He had always been close to his grandfather. He had gone for a walk with his grandfather every evening who had bought him a chocolate and gave him tips on Cricket. After those tragic losses, he was turned into a psycho. He had created imaginary friends and kept playing Hockey, Cricket and Football all over his place, commentating on each and every move and outclassing all his imaginary friends to win the matches.
One day, he was asked to bring something from market and from the remaining money, he bought a toffee for himself. His father spotted it and was reported to his mum. Just for a toffee, he was beaten by a hockey stick. That day, a rebel was born inside him. He had enough of the beating he had suffered. Keeping that soft person image of himself, he had reached his boiling point inside. He decided that it was finally time to grow up. His school helped him in his cause as they changed his section. There in the new section, he met those people who had done swearing like it’s their everyday language. He had started swearing too. He did not care what people thought about him. He had started to lie to his parents and still bought things without bringing it to their notice. He had stopped caring about his results and was indulged in fights with his classmates and friends. He called himself a “cheating maestro”. He never bothered to study for tests, all he did was to copy, either from a friend or from any other source. Because of his good boy image, teachers never suspected him and he used it for his advantage. The teachers always waved off any one’s claim that he had labelled them with a swear word or had a fight with them.
While he was transforming in to the bad guy, he decided that he will join the air force to realise the dream he has seen from day one. He wanted to get registered in the air force school. He passed the test and interview and at the final moment, his parents disappointed him again. He was forced to continue with the school he had been in since Montessori and was told that he will be allowed to join the air force college only because the school had taught from the books of Punjab board. He somehow managed to satisfy himself, making plans for future. He passed class 8th with great passion and as he was reunited with his old classmates but that did not last long.
Once again, it was time his parents were their to ruin all the fun. Some one suggested that their child is intelligent enough to do O levels, so he was made to leave his childhood school and was asked to find bliss in a new one. There, he reverted himself back to the person he was always. That shy, soft person again. He had always lived like a person who was never aware of the outside world. He had been grown up as a PTV kid. He felt lonely in the new school as all of his classmates had knowledge of outside world. He was asked to come late for the first day in his new school and the moment he stood at the door of his class asking for teacher’s permission, the whole class erupted with laughter. He continued, trying to live by his image of a great student but it was all too difficult for him. He had started to realise that O levels was not like his old school work where he could have just learnt what was written in the notebook and get done with it. He always thought he has good command over English language but his confidence hit rock bottom as he appeared for his first exams. He did not score well and for having bad relations with his statistics teacher, he was deliberately failed.
He moved on from it, aiming to score well in the finals. While he tried to concentrate on his studies, someone else was on his mind and distracted him from his path. He had a crush on his classmate but as always he has compromised, he did it this time too. His good friend told him that he likes that girl too, so he stepped aside and helped his friend start talking to the girl. He himself continued to show the girl that he likes her after his friend did not get along well with her, but she never understood. He finished the school, keeping his feelings inside him and regretting that he had told the girl about it a long time ago.
As he moved out of school, there was no one to guide him for his future. His hopes of joining air force had died long before. He was confused about where to move ahead and he chose accountancy. He got another responsibility of being a driver. He is asked to take his parents everywhere they want but is never allowed to drive alone. He lost all his friends except a few because of the sudden switch of fields.
Now here he is, all grown up but inside him, there still lives a kid. A kid who is unstoppable as he see a fun land. A kid who is a huge fan of video games. A kid who still likes to party and go out with friends. A kid who just can’t hold himself if he see someone playing Cricket. A kid who wants freedom and wants to live like a kid. A kid who still likes to watch cartoons/ A kid who is holding all these emotions inside and getting along with the life, planning for the professional life. A kid who wishes to dance just as he listens to some bhangra music. A kid who just wants to live life like he wants to. A kid, who at the end of the day, lays down and think about everything his life has offered him and thinking if he could somehow make it the way he wants it to be in the future. A kid who is saying to his parents “Saari umar hum, mar mar k ji liye, aik pal to ab hamain, jeenay do, jeenay do”