I have grown up with friends and cousins who as soon as they reached puberty, had only one aim in life. Talk to girls, 24/7. This though is the story of every single guy unless he is spending his life in Madressah. Coming through that, obviously, I got those germs too but I was never a guy girls would go gaga over. I was a fat nerd who would try to sneak a look at the girl and then fantasize a life with her in the sleepless hours. I grew up through that. While some friends were consistently discussing their “love” life and confiding in me with their relationship secrets, I was still looking for the one and only I’ll have. I didn’t know the art of building conversations or how to kill off someone’s boredom.
I have cousins who’d give me phone numbers of random girls every week to win them over and then ask them for easy loads or other stuff. I have friends who, on my idea, added random girls on Facebook and became bestest of friends with them. I just couldn’t. I sound as the biggest pervert and maila almost every time but when it comes to practically do it, there’s no one more gutless than me.
I was mocked by friends over this. When I had a serious crush on one of the cousins, I made it look too obvious that she grouped up with others and totally played with. Upon realising it, I had only one mission. Fill the phonebook with phone number of girls.
Even though I loathe her but on the other hand, I’m thankful to her too. If that phase hadn’t happened in my life, I’d not have been what I am today. That stint provided with me a girl best friend, who has literally taught me the art of getting around with people. It was her stubbornness which made me do every kind of effort to kill her boredom off.
Since then, I have been on that mission. My chat list now only has one guy, who is no less than a typical girlfriend. Along that, the search for “that one” continued. Crushes happened but they were over within a month. Hell, I have been throned as the life long president of both the friend and brother zone.
Finally, this one person clicked to my heart like none other. For a month or two, I didn’t think I had any chance but there was something which was telling me to be brave enough and go for it. It did. I received a good response. All I had to do was build on it. As I had finally been able to get rid of insomnia, I had barely known her well for couple of days when I lost my sleep over her. It continued. I have been totally genuine with her. I have found the “dream girl” I told all my close friends about. She isn’t perfect, neither am I. I hate her at times but this is it. This is the final chapter. The search finishes here. It’s pretty easy being and pretending what you are not rather than just being yourself. I have done all I could to win her over and still doing it. I guess I have but there’s too long to go now.
I will definitely not be able to do any thing more if this breaks up. I have given it all and been it in with all my heart. Just no more.. No more I’ll be able to feel for someone else. No more I will be able to make an effort for someone. No more I will be able to look up to someone else like this. No more I’ll be able to hold myself together.