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Monthly Archives: November 2015

It fades away… again…

You know… When you’re just down and out… When you don’t give a rat’s ass about anyone and do whatever the hell you want.. Because you have had enough of people betraying you or using you… There comes a point when you realise what have you become and you feel bad about it but in a moment, you shake it off… You do almost all kinds of immoral things… Defy your conscience… You own them and feel proud of being a rebellion… You just fade away in the darkest of shadows of your soul, never wanting to emerge back from it.

And then out of the blue, there comes this little ray… You try to deflect it away but it somehow refracts inside you… You start to rise up from that shadow… The more you refuse it, the more it grabs you… You fight through it but you have to give up against the hope and charm it brings… You finally rise up again and muster the courage to go back to your original self… The shadow keeps lurking around but you fight it out.. You fight it out with words, with actions, with laughter, with arguments, with little moments of affection, with care, with burying your ego, with things you had never done before, with everything that you can do to keep that shadow as far away as possible…

The ray starts to brighten up as you grow more and more closer to it… You finally know that this was all you wanted, all this time… You draw more and more closer to it… This is one last time you have made an effort… You have spent here all the little that was left in you… You have finally found your shining star…

You begin to settle down with it… You finally have all that you wanted… You are too much into the light that you never consider the darkness increasing behind you… It starts to draw upon you… It was never as bright as you thought it to be… It was always one of those flashlights which created a temporary illusion and you lived in that…

The light starts to fade away gradually… You want to confront the illusion it created but you don’t have the strength… You only curse yourself for falling for the illusion… The shadow starts to grow again… You try to hold on to whatever the little light that is left but the shadow’s attraction is too strong… You have nothing left in yourself now… You wouldn’t be affected by the most powerful of the lasers… You fall into the pit… You fade away.. Again… This time, beyond the darkest of dark… You are tempted to perform the darkest of arts… You do them with a sick laughter… There’s no coming back this time… But the homecoming isn’t as sweet as it was thought to be… You were darkness’ favorite son… And then you chased the light… Now that you have come back to darkness, you find yourself lonely here… Even loneliness is angered at you… The barren thoughts have also rejected you…

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Posted by on November 19, 2015 in Random

 

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